OET Letter Correction – Mrs Carol Potter – Grade B (risky)

by englishteacher

OET LETTER CORRECTION

Mrs Carol Potter – Grade B (risky)

When writing your letter, you should do it under the same circumstances of the exam day. Therefore, we suggest you write your letter within the required time. Then retype it into the word document and send that to us.

Letter correction

Dr Waters

Surgeon

Still Water Private Hospital

54 Main Street

Still Water

24/04/2015,

Dear Dr Waters,

Mrs Carol Potter,DOB : 30/12/1947

Thank you for seeing Mrs Carol Potter ,who demonstrated  a worsening of osteoarthritis symptoms .I would be grateful If you could manage her condition as you think appropriate.

  • Mrs Potter (it is more formal to use the last name)

Mrs Patter is a retired administrative assistant.In terms of her past medical history ,she is a known case of hypertension and osteoarthritis for which she has been managed accordingly.

The patient presented to me with a complaint of pain in the left knee for the last twelve month despite an analgesia administration .Accordingly ,his physical examination was carried out which revealed a decrease of the left knee movement as well as a tenderness over the joint while pressure  ;therefore, an xray of the left knee and blood tests have been performed and naproxen tab was prescribed.

  • X-ray (correct form)

In the following day , the patient attended to review the results .With regard to the radiological findings as it showed a feature of severe osteoarthritis ; however , the blood results were within normal range .

It is worth mentioning that an arrangement with Physiotherapy has been concluded and medication in form of analgesia was adjusted .

In the light of the above, the patient requires a surgical assessment for a possible knee replacement .Your special concern regarding her management is Immensely appreciated.

  • No need to capitalize the word

Should you need any further queries , I would be delighted to hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Doctor.

Personalised tips for your next letter

To improve your score, you need to:

  • Check your capitalization
  • Use a better variety of tenses to enhance the score

Any estimated grade score is based on the information you have provided to us, however your score will always vary depending on the task and the circumstances at the time of writing.

ESTIMATED GRADE: B (risky)

Comments on scores

Overall Task Fulfilment – 5

  • The candidate has generally fulfilled the task: the target reader would be informed about the situation and would form a positive impression of the writer’s competence. However, the effectiveness of the letter is slightly limited by the fact that it is
  • too long and contains more detail than required.

Appropriateness of Language – 5

  • The candidate has chosen lexis and register which are appropriateand in line with what the target reader would expect (e.g. ‘based on my provisional diagnosis’, ‘her condition continued to deteriorate; her blood tests revealed…’). Lapses in tone and accuracy (‘unfortunately’, ‘regrettably’, ‘exhausted’) are relatively minor and do not cause strain for the reader.

Comprehension of Stimulus – 5

  • The candidate demonstrates a thorough understanding of the communicative task. The key points are clear and given in appropriately prominent position (e.g. opening and final paragraphs). Selection and transformation of the stimulus material is somewhat less effective: although actual irrelevance
  • has been avoided, following the chronological sequence of the case notes has in this case led the candidate to include more detail than is strictly necessary.

Control of Linguistic Features (Grammar and Cohesion) – 5

  • The candidate has used a range of grammatical structures accurately and in a way which enhances meaning (including past perfect to show sequence of events, passive constructions, and participles). Use of cohesive devices is mostly effective, with related information grouped together and conveyed concisely (e.g. ‘On examination, she looked exhausted, with a temperature of 38.5º, pulse 92 beats per minute with atrial fibrillation, and BP 129/80’). There is some less sophisticated use of cohesive
  • devices (e.g. ‘… and associated with fever’; misplacing of ‘Therefore’), but their impact on fluency is not serious. Control of Presentation Features (Spelling, Punctuation and

Layout – 5

  • The layout and salutations are in line with the target reader’s expectations. Spelling and punctuation show a good level of accuracy throughout, and many sentences are error free. Mistakes (e.g. ‘On examine’, ‘requested’) are slips rather than evidence of any systematic misunderstanding.

Sample answers

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required to join a selection  of Facebook groups for that. However we are adding some examples to our website (regularly) and you can find them under the following link(s):

Medicine: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/oet-letter-writing/medicine/

Additional material

To help you improve further we are happy to provide two links to information that will ensure you are more aware of the OET letter writing task.

You will find an OET Writing Guide at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET_Writing_Guide.pdf

As well as OET Letter Writing General Tips at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET-Letter-General-Tips.pdf

Any questions

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required; please do consider joining our Facebook group for assistance: https://www.facebook.com/groups/oetwritingcorrectionservice/

Remember we are here to assist you and happy to answer any questions by email.

Sending letters

Sending Letters: We welcome all OET letters for correction to be sent by e-mail to a specially designated e-mail address at [email protected].

We do need to stress that you have to include some important information within the email, these are: Order ID, Letter Number, Service Type and Your Name.

Here’s an example:

78901, 2, Standard, Mohamed Youssef.

It is that simple!

Under the new system, you will receive a generic auto-reply within a few minutes of your e-mail being received.

Please feel free to send your letters one by one or all at the same time, the decision is yours.

Failure to send your letter with the above information in the email

will result in your letter not being processed for correction.

Grammar lesson

Common Mistakes Regarding Physical Description

IncorrectCorrect
Advice was given to reduce her weight. After the verb reduce it is not necessary to follow with a pronoun. So you is not required.  Simply say: I advised him to reduce weight, or, you need to reduce weight.Advice was given to reduce weight. The patient was advised to reduce weight. A reduction of weight was advised.
In addition, she had lost her weight. After the verb lose it is not correct to follow with a pronoun.In addition, she had lost weight. In addition, she has lost a further 11 kg of weight over the past 2 months. In addition, the patient’s weight has significantly reduced from 61 kg to 50 kg over the past 2 months.
He is now obese with a 99kilos weight and a 170cm height. The use of the correct verb & noun form and associated grammar is difficult. Refer opposite for correct usage.  1.     He is now obese with a weight of 99 kg and a height of 170cm. (noun form) 2.     He weighs 99 kg and is 170cm tall. (verb form) 3.     He weighs 99kg and is 170cm in height. (verb form)
1.     Today’s examination revealed multiple missing teeth, various carious lesions and a periodontal pocket of depth 4-9mm. 2.     There are several  periodental pockets with about 4-9 mm in depth. Correct word order is: Depth of 4-9mm Height of 173cm Length of 20 m Weight of 78kg 3.     His height was 173cm.  Weight can change but height can not so don’t use past tense.    1.     Today’s examination revealed multiple missing teeth, various carious lesions and a periodontal pocket depth of 4-9mm. 2.     There are several periodontal pockets which are about 4’9 mm in depth   or 3.     There are several periodontal pockets with a depth of  about 4-9 mm. 4.     His height is 173cm.
1.     He was overweight 85 Kg with respect to his height 173 cm. This sentence is a shortened version similar to the case notes. It is important to write in full sentences.1.     He was overweight at 85 kg with respect to his height  of 173 cm.

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