OET Letter Correction – Mrs Lucy Clarke – Grade C+

by englishteacher

OET LETTER CORRECTION

Mrs Lucy Clarke – Grade C+

When writing your letter, you should do it under the same circumstances of the exam day. Therefore, we suggest you write your letter within the required time. Then retype it into the word document and send that to us.

Letter correction

Dr David Smith

Cardiologist

Emergency Department

Main Hospital

Cast city

20/09/15

Dear  doctor

Re: MRs Lucy Clarke  , DOB 11/03/1951

I am writing to refer Mrs Clarke , a 64 year old female , who is presenting with symptoms and signs  suggestive  of unstable angina .I would be grateful if you could manage her condition as you think appropriate .

Mrs Clarke is married and retired Office Clerk .Regarding her medical history , she suffers from diabetes mellitus , hyperlipidemia  and hypertension for which she has been taking Sitagliptin 100 mg morning , insulin 25 uints SC twice daily , atorvastatin 50 mg morning  and irbesartan 75 mg at morning too.

  • A retired (an indefinite article is required before adjectives followed by a singular noun)
  • Units (spelling mistake)
  • In the morning (correct preposition)

Today, Mrs Clarke complained of one week history of central chest pain associated with dyspnea  and radiating to the left arm .The pain is worse on exertion and relieved by rest .However ,there is no history of palpations ,orthopnea or difficulty breathing at night .Her mother was treated for acute Myocardial infraction then she died from ischemia stroke at age of 59 year .

  • In breathing (a preposition is missing)
  • The last sentence should be mentioned in the third paragraph as a semi relevant issue

On examination her vital signs , systems review as well as  her resting ECG all are normal .

In view of the above , I am referring this patient for admission for further management of her condition .For any queries ,please contact me .

Yours sincerely

Doctor  X

Personalised tips for your next letter

To improve your score, you need to:

  • Your letter is not well organized. You should start with an introduction (as yours), a paragraph about main medical issue including symptoms, causes and medications, a paragraph about semi relevant issues such as family history and any other habits, a paragraph about the visit, your management plan and then your closing paragraph
  • Make sure your prepositions are correct and accurate
  • You need to use more tenses and more grammatical rules to enhance your score
  • Revise to avoid simple mistakes
  • Check your definite and indefinite articles

Any estimated grade score is based on the information you have provided to us, however your score will always vary depending on the task and the circumstances at the time of writing.

ESTIMATED GRADE: C+

Comments on scores

Overall Task Fulfilment – 4

You have shown the ability to manage the task and organise the information in a logical way., but there are some mistakes in information order. Significant grammar errors and inaccuracies have a negative effect on the target reader in places. You are clearly familiar with the style of the letter but simply don’t have sufficient control of the language required.

Appropriateness of Language – 4

You have chosen  vocabulary and tone which are generally appropriate for the target reader and the communicative task . A few inaccuracies do not impede communication. As a whole, the letter is not well organised.

Comprehension of Stimulus – 4

You demonstrate an understanding of the task and input which is generally accurate. Many of the main points are explained clearly and given an appropriate degree of prominence. You should determine relevant, semi relevant and irrelevant information. Select the important ones

Control of Linguistic Features (Grammar and Cohesion) – 4

You have used a range of devices to connect information, there are some errors regarding tenses, articles and the passive voice.

Control of Presentation Features (Spelling, Punctuation and Layout) – 4

You have chosen a good layout, but there are some punctuation errors and word formation mistakes

Sample answers

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required to join a selection  of Facebook groups for that. However we are adding some examples to our website (regularly) and you can find them under the following link(s):

Medicine: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/oet-letter-writing/medicine/

Additional material

To help you improve further we are happy to provide two links to information that will ensure you are more aware of the OET letter writing task.

You will find an OET Writing Guide at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET_Writing_Guide.pdf

As well as OET Letter Writing General Tips at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET-Letter-General-Tips.pdf

Any questions

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required; please do consider joining our Facebook group for assistance: https://www.facebook.com/groups/oetwritingcorrectionservice/

You will find a great selection of sample answer on the official OET website. I do suggest browsing there.

Sending letters

Sending Letters: We welcome all OET letters for correction to be sent by e-mail to a specially designated e-mail address at [email protected].

We do need to stress that you have to include some important information within the email, these are: Order ID, Letter Number, Service Type and Your Name.

Here’s an example:

78901, 2, Standard, Mohamed Youssef.

It is that simple!

Under the new system, you will receive a generic auto-reply within a few minutes of your e-mail being received.

Please feel free to send your letters one by one or all at the same time, the decision is yours.

Failure to send your letter with the above information in the email

will result in your letter not being processed for correction.

Grammar lesson

Prepositions

Prepositions are a difficult area of language to fully master as their usage is not governed by strict rules. The best way to learn prepositions is by regular reading so that you can slowly absorb and become comfortable with their correct use. However, it is possible to memorise the correct use of a selection of prepositions in order to use them accurately in writing the referral letter.

Prepositions of Time

In: In is used for longer periods of timeOn: On is used for days and dates and some time expressionsAt: At is used for the time of day and for some expressionsSome words require no preposition
In November In Spring In 2006 In the past In the future In the morning In the afternoon In her childhood In his twentiesOn Monday On 20 November On Christmas day On his birthday On review On examination On investigation On presentation On two occasionsAt 6 o’clock At night At lunchtime At that time At the moment At the age of 45 At birthYesterday Today Tomorrow Last week This week Next week

Prepositions of Place

In: In is used for inside of somethingOn: is used for the surface area of somethingAt: At is used for a place of activity
In Australia In hospital In surgery In the stomachOn the skin On the ground floorAt home At work At the wound site At the clinic

Common Errors

IncorrectCorrect
His father died of cancer during the age of 50.His father died of cancer at the age of 50.
In examination today, the patient was anxious and distressed.On examination today, the patient was anxious and distressed.
Initial examination on today revealed inflammed gums.Initial examination today revealed inflammed gums.
On December 2006, the patient had his wisdom teeth removed.In December 2006, the patient had his wisdom teeth removed.
The patient’s family arrived at Australia in last year.The patient’s family arrived in Australia last year.

Articles Usage with Countable & Uncountable Nouns

Whether an article is required or not depends on the noun that follows. For this purpose nouns can be classified into two types: countable & uncountable nouns. The difference is based on whether the noun can be counted or not. For example, complaint is a countable noun as it can be counted. Therefore, it is possible to say 1 complaint or 2 complaints. Advice on the other hand cannot be counted so it is not possible to say 1 advice or 2 advices , The correct expression is some/any advice or the expression a piece of advice.

Countable nouns

These nouns have a singular form and plural form.

Singular

In the singular form an article is usually used before the noun. Example: The doctor received a complaint from her patient.

  1. Exceptions: The article can be left out if it is replaced with another determiner such as his/her or this /that or any/each/every. E.g. The doctor listened to each complaint. Her complaint was recorded.

Plural

In the plural form the article is usually not used before the noun. Example: The doctor received complaints from her patients.

Remember: Always use articles when referring a particular job such as: doctor/dentist/nurse/pharmacist/physiotherapist/teacher etc etc.

Countable nounsSingular form Note the use of an article before each noun in singular form, either as a/an/thePlural form Note the absence of the indefinite articles a/an before each noun in singular form, but the definite article
abscessThe patient had an abscess on her gum.The patient had 3 abscesses on her gum.
acheThe patient reported a dull ache in her abdomen.The patient suffered from aches and pains.
accountantMr. Hagen is an accountant.Mr. & Mrs. Hagen are both accountants.
appointmentA follow-up appointment was scheduled.The patient did not attend her follow-up appointments.
cavityThe cavity was exposed.The cavities were exposed.
check upThe patient attended for a check-up.Regular check-ups will keep you healthy.
complaintIf you have a complaint, tell your doctor.If you have any complaints, tell your doctor.
conditionYou have a condition known as tuberculosis.There are 3 conditions which can indicate the presence of cancer.
depositA carious deposit was evident on tooth 32.Carious deposits were evident on teeth 32 & 33.
doctorThe patient has not seen a doctor for several years.Three doctors were involved in the treatment of the patient.
episodeThe patient had an episode of heart flutter.The patient reported 3 episodes of heart flutter.
examinationAn examination is necessary to rule out cancer.Blood urine examinations revealed no abnormalities
gumThe gum surrounding tooth 23 was inflamed.The gums were infected.
increaseThere was an increase in the size of the swelling.The patient presented with numerous swellings.
interpreterAn interpreter is required.Interpreters will be required.
investigationAn investigation is required to rule out bowel cancer.Investigations are required to rule out bowel cancer.
limpThe patient walked with a limp.All the patients had limps.
parasiteThe threadworm is a parasiteThreadworms are parasites.
lipThe patient had a swollen lip. (one lip)The patient had swollen lips. (both lips)
smokerShe is a smoker.They are smokers.
operationAn operation is necessary.Two operations are necessary.
painkillerThe patient requested a painkiller.Painkillers are not necessary with this procedure.
physiotherapistAn appointment needs to be a arranged with a physiotherpist.Two physiotherapists work at this rehabiliation centre.
resultThe patient hoped for a positive result.The results were positive.
reviewA review was scheduled after 2 weeks.The nurse received positive reviews from her patients.
sensationThe patient reported a tingling sensation in his fingers.The patient experience tingling sensations in his fingers.
social workerA social worker has been arranged to offer ongoing care.Two social workers have been arranged to offer ongoing care.
teacherSteve is a teacher.Steve and Chris are teachers.
testA blood test was ordered.Blood and urine tests were ordered.
visitPlease organise a visit by a social worker.Regular visits by a social worker is required.

Uncountable nouns

These nouns cannot take a plural form such as: cancer, anaesthesia and information. For these words no article is required. However, the definite article the as well as quantifiers such as some and any can be used before the noun.

Uncountable nounsIndefinite articles cannot be used with uncountable nouns. However definite article “the” as well as quantifiers such as some and any can be used.
accommodationThe patient lives in rental accommodation.
adviceAdvice on diet is requested.
assistanceThe patient will require assistance upon discharge.
attentionThe patient requires urgent attention.
behaviourOn examination, the patient’s behaviour was abnormal.
cancerThe patient has cancer.
cariesDeep caries were present on several teeth.
concentrationThe patient has poor concentration.
damageThe scan confirmed damage to the medial cartilage.
discomfortIf you experience discomfort, please consult your doctor.
informationShould you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
painThe patient experienced pain on palapation.
progressThe patient has made good progress.
tissueShe has healthy, soft tissue.
treatmentThe condition did not respond to treatment.
researchFurther research is required.
surgeryThe patient chose not to have surgery.

Common mistakes

IncorrectCorrect
Wound on her left knee has been stitched.
I am writing to refer Marvin, 7 year old boy who was admitted to hospital on 21/11/10.
Mr Brown has been patient of mine for 7 years.
Please note, the patient has had prosthetic heart valve for year.
Examination revealed abscess on her gum.
Apart from bruises to her body, X-rays reveal that she has fracture of the right ankle.
Mr Jones had a heart surgery in 2009.
The patient has a cancer.
She had a healthy soft tissue.
He had lacerated lip and swollen gum.
The patient has pollen allergy.
The patient has tender right elbow joint.
The patient presented for regular check-up on 12/2/10.
A wound on her left hand has been stitched.
I am writing to refer Marvin, a 7 year old boy who was admitted to hospital on 21/11/09.
Mr Brown has been a patient of mine for 7 years.
Please note, the patient has had a prosthetic heart valve for a year
Examination revealed an abscess on her gum.
Apart from bruises to her body, X-rays reveal that she has a fracture of the right ankle.
Mr Jones had heart surgery in 2009.
The patient has cancer.
She had healthy soft tissue.
He had a lacerated lip and swollen gums.
The patient has a pollen allergy
The patient has a tender right elbow joint.
The patient presented for a regular check-up on 12/2/10.

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