OET Letter Correction – Ms Dolores Hoffmann – Grade C

by englishteacher

OET LETTER CORRECTION

Ms Dolores Hoffmann – Grade C

When writing your letter, you should do it under the same circumstances of the exam day. Therefore, we suggest you write your letter within the required time. Then retype it into the word document and send that to us.

Letter correction

Dr John Mclennan

Psychiatrist

Royal mental Health Clinic

177 Park Avenue

Newtown

29/11/14

Dear  Doctor

Re: Ms Dolores Hoffmann ,DOB 22/06/1986

Thank you for seeing  Ms Hoffmann, a 27-year old woman , whose features are consistent with reactive depression and anxiety.

Ms Hoffmann is a single  with no family in Australia .She is lives with a long term boyfriend .she works as a ladieswaer in a department store .Her work is very busy and stressful .she is  smoker too.

  • Hoffmann is single – or is a single woman (you either remove the article, or add a noun after the adjective)
  • She lives (correct form of the present simple – a major mistake)
  • Ladies wear (spelling mistake – word structure mistake )

On 11/12/2013 , Ms Hoffmann attended my clinc with one day history of fainting attack for few minutes following drinking wine and cocktails .There was no urinary or gastroenteritis symptoms .Her blood investigations  were normal  so rest was advised

  • Clinic (spelling mistake)
  • Were normal, so rest (a comma is required)

Few months later, she developed URTI  and was anxious about EBV infection  but she was reassured .

Today , Ms Hoffmann complained of loss of pleasure , night mares , insomnia , poor memory  and concentration .she is  also having poor appetite and low libido .She is living alone  as she split up with her boy friend .She is considering  quitting from her job .For this reason , Temazepam 20 mg was advised but she is not keen on drug treatment .

  • Nightmares (one word)
  • She lives (use the present simple with habits)
  • She has split up (use the present perfect with non timed actions)

IN view of the above , I am referring his patient for further management of her condition .For any queries please contact me .

Yours sincerely

Doctor  X

Personalised tips for your next letter

To improve your score, you need to:

  • It seems that you need to understand the difference between tenses and their formations as there are fatal mistakes in the letter concerning tenses
  • Your sentences are very simple. You need to form rich sentences by using more linking words and punctuation for a better sentence structure
  • Make sure your articles are correct
  • Check the structure of your words whether one or two word compound nouns
  • Read more samples to enhance your score

Any estimated grade score is based on the information you have provided to us, however your score will always vary depending on the task and the circumstances at the time of writing.

ESTIMATED GRADE: C

Comments on scores

Overall Task Fulfilment – 4

You have shown the ability to manage the task and organise the information in a logical way., but there are some mistakes in information order. Significant grammar errors and inaccuracies have a negative effect on the target reader in places. You are clearly familiar with the style of the letter but simply don’t have sufficient control of the language required.

Appropriateness of Language – 4

You have chosen  vocabulary and tone which are generally appropriate for the target reader and the communicative task . A few inaccuracies do not impede communication. As a whole, the letter is not well organised.

Comprehension of Stimulus – 4

You demonstrate an understanding of the task and input which is generally accurate. Many of the main points are explained clearly and given an appropriate degree of prominence. You should determine relevant, semi relevant and irrelevant information. Select the important ones

Control of Linguistic Features (Grammar and Cohesion) – 4

You have used a range of devices to connect information, there are some errors regarding tenses, articles and the passive voice.

Control of Presentation Features (Spelling, Punctuation and Layout) – 4

You have chosen a good layout, but there are some punctuation errors and word formation mistakes

Sample answers

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required to join a selection  of Facebook groups for that. However we are adding some examples to our website (regularly) and you can find them under the following link(s):

Medicine: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/oet-letter-writing/medicine/

Additional material

To help you improve further we are happy to provide two links to information that will ensure you are more aware of the OET letter writing task.

You will find an OET Writing Guide at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET_Writing_Guide.pdf

As well as OET Letter Writing General Tips at this link: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET-Letter-General-Tips.pdf

Any questions

You will find a great selection of sample answers on the internet, however you may be required; please do consider joining our Facebook group for assistance: https://www.facebook.com/groups/oetwritingcorrectionservice/

You will find a great selection of sample answer on the official OET website. I do suggest browsing there.

Sending letters

Sending Letters: We welcome all OET letters for correction to be sent by e-mail to a specially designated e-mail address at [email protected].

We do need to stress that you have to include some important information within the email, these are: Order ID, Letter Number, Service Type and Your Name.

Here’s an example:

78901, 2, Standard, Mohamed Youssef.

It is that simple!

Under the new system, you will receive a generic auto-reply within a few minutes of your e-mail being received.

Please feel free to send your letters one by one or all at the same time, the decision is yours.

Failure to send your letter with the above information in the email

will result in your letter not being processed for correction.

Grammar lesson

Simple Past or Present Perfect

There is often confusion of whether to use simple past or present perfect tense. The basic rule to remember is if you are referring a particular time in the past then you must use simple past tense. If you are referring to a period of time that starts in the past and continues up to now use present perfect tense.

There are some common time markers used with simple past and present perfect. It is important to study, learn and use these tenses correctly when writing referral letters as you must refer to both past events and periods of time leading to the present.

Time Markers with Simple PastTime markers with Present Perfect
He sucked his thumb until he was 5. Mrs. Kelly had diverticulitis when she was a teenager. He first came to see me in 2004. The patient didn’t respond to treatment. The patient was diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago. The patient stopped taking medication yesterday.He has been sucking his thumb for five years. Mrs. Kelly has had diverticulitis for the last 12 years. He has been seeing me since 2004. The patient hasn’t responded to treatment yet. The patient has shown no signs of improvement up to now. The patient has stopped taking medication recently.

Common Errors

IncorrectCorrect
She has underwent triple coronary bypass surgery on 10.08.09She underwent triple coronary bypass surgery on 10.08.09

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